So, the story about the woodpeckers.
It seems a woodpecker decided to go after the wood siding on a friend’s house early in the morning. After numerous attempts to discourage the bird -- shouting, turning on lights, throwing water on it from the upstairs bedroom, the man was tired of waking up to the rapping sound.
Frustrated, he decided to have a face to beak confrontation with the offending bird. He threw the covers back, jumped up out of bed, ran out the front door, turned on the garden hose and proceeded to spray it at the bird.
The man was successful, the bird flew away.
But, as he was standing there, one of his neighbors drove past and yelled out something from the rolled-down window, gestured wildly and began honking his horn. It was only then that the man remembered he slept in the nude and -- in his rush to get rid of the bird -- well, you figure out the rest.
True story, honest.